The ace of Boston's staff, Jon Lester, is 0-2 and saw his ERA soar to 5.82. He threw 49 pitches in the second inning - long before the last-place Red Sox lost to the Rangers by five field goals. Lester left with the bases loaded and no one out after two-plus innings and was tagged for seven runs and eight hits while giving up four walks on 80 pitches. He "stunk." Or something like that.

The Red Sox are a team in turmoil - especially when they get beaten 18-3 at Fenway Park. This time, Bobby Valentine left in his starter too long by letting him pitch into the third.

When the No. 1 starter on the team puts up numbers like Lester's - it makes no difference whether Valentine and Kevin Youkilis are going to have lunch Thursday. The clubhouse mirrors Syria. The manager was de-nutted by the GM after the best player on the team threw him under the bus. Larry Lucchino runs the Red Sox, but they'd be better off letting Bobby Jenks drive.

John Henry was last seen celebrating Patriots' Day on his yacht with the crew from Liverpool FC.

Carmine must have a virus.