Q: Hi Meredith,

I am 55, a widow dating a handsome guy (age 59) who is divorced, and after several years of being alone, this is not the first but the most serious relationship I have been in. We have been dating for 8 months and agreed to be exclusive after a couple of months. We have both said we love each other and things were going great, having fun times and serious times, lots in common, borderline living together (3/7 nights each week) and discussing forever. My family likes him and I recently traveled out of the country with him to meet his family.

Last weekend while using his computer, he left an open tab and I clicked on it -- only to close it. (I am not a nosy person). What I saw was an email answering a personal ad! It was already sent. It said, "Hi, I am 59, etc." !!!!

I was in shock. I confronted him immediately. He said he was sorry, that he didn't want to hurt me, that he really did love me, and that he didn't know why he had done that. He admitted doing it a few times since we started dating. We have since talked about it and he said had no interest in doing it again and would not.

He begged me to stay with him and for us to re-commit. I agreed to continue but cautiously, I like everything else about him and I want this to work out. I must admit that early in our dating I still looked at the old dating sites a couple of times myself, out of curiosity -- but I never emailed anyone. I guess I thought we had advanced to a different level.

What do you think?

– Widowed in Massachusetts

A: This stinks, WIM. I'm not stressed out about the browsing, but he went as far as messaging someone. Awful.